A soft shower is falling as I gaze out the window with my thoughts. ‘Not as I wish, but must accept’.
The grass and trees welcome the refreshing raindrops especially as the crisp dry leaves waver in the stormy winds. A tear runs down my cheek as I think of the tiny raindrop/rainbow that graced my life, if only for such a short time. I have been meditating and lingering with my thoughts today.
My precious jewel little Dada (5) who graced my life for two short years was called home in the early hours of this morning and will be laid to rest tomorrow morning. Her little footsteps will no longer run to meet me; her smile; her tight hug of welcome will be mine no more. The final flower in my garden of ‘These My Little Ones’ has lost her battle with Leukaemia. Again methinks: ‘Not as I wish, but must accept’. Dada fought so hard, contented to be confined in hospital waiting her second bone marrow transplant but then falling there and breaking her little arm – yet she continued to smile without complaint.
How do I remember this delicate flower I used to call ‘my snowdrop? To me she was a perfect gift given to enrich and bless through her childlike faith, facing mountains yet always silent – an angel who travelled a valley of silence without questioning. Each day she would ‘silently’ play with her pink play doh (we laughed together last time we played as pink is my favourite colour too). But then it was ‘tidy up time’ and time to help Mummy as Dada had three little brothers who simply adored her – she was the only girl.
Today again I feel the pangs of pain as I face another staggering trial. And yet, I find these everyday situations of life humbling me before the One who is my refuge in His enduring shelter.
Tomorrow morning please whisper ‘Petruda’ and think of a young mother parting with her treasured possession.
I cannot change this day of sadness or unlock with a key the reason why. Until then I submit to His plans, reminding myself that in this trial His way is best.
Petruda I hold you in my heart asking the Lord to give you His grace, His peace from His exhaustive treasury, His unreached depths of love to surround you in these unimaginable days of loss.
Shirley