Open hands

Let me hear Thy voice

Shirley Open hands , , ,

heartheyvoice.jpg
‘Joy and deep poverty!’ Truly strange blending
Fulness and emptiness! Contrasting themes
Spiritual richness and temporal leanness!
None but the Spirit could wed such extremes.
 ‘Joy and deep poverty!’ Servant of Jesus
Doth it perplex that thy portion is this?
Doth it offend that reward for thy faithfulness
Seemeth to lie much in things thou must miss?
 ‘Joy and deep poverty!’ Pause thee, and ponder!
Joy for thy spirit – the world cannot give;
If therewith leanness, extreme limitation
Mayhap ‘tis by e’en such need thou shalt LIVE!
(J. Danson Smith)

I paused after reading verse two of the above poem.  The tenderness of my heart; the parting; the loss, experiences, reminding me that the threads of sorrow are also important threads used in the tapestry of life.  I quietly ask: ‘Lord, let me hear thy voice’.  The remains of the previous day still caused pain. I needed to hear the sweetness of his voice.  This mission trip has been as no other. I have been to the very pit of a coalmine coming face to face with the true cost of pain.  Nothing this world can offer will ever compensate for the loss of my precious Denisa to Lilliana or my little angel Dada to Pertruda. The hearts of these mothers are broken; others running away, reality as their companion. The village homes; the unwanted child; the crowded market place filled with empty faces of homeless vagabonds; a young gypsy mother rummaging through overflowing bins of garbage with a scantily dressed baby wrapped in a shawl crying with hunger.  Has my vision been impaired seeing only what I want to see? I feel I have just returned from a desert without road or track where the soil beneath my feet was barren and dry.  And yet I long to return to this wilderness of suffering, to drop seeds on purpose that will take root and grow. Home three days and yet longing for those I love in the land I love. Romania is my home, my people, even the forgotten and unloved in Cighid.  They may not be able to communicate but they have touched the very core of my heart.  Yes, I am disturbed within and yet as I walked and prayed I felt the dew of stillness assure me that there are those who will stand with me in this project to provide bedding and clothing for these fifty adult orphans. Without asking, the Lord provides.  A few hours ago a gentleman spoke with me; instead of birthday gifts on his special birthday he requested donations for Tell Romania.  He smiled in agreement as I requested his gift will commence the £2,500 required for the Cighid Project.  We leave on 01 October dv, Hamilton to return to teaching in Emanuel and preaching, and I plan to take the resources with me to Cighid the following week. The choice rests within our hearts to bless ‘Even One’?

Our return flight was from Cluj Napoca (3 to 4 hour drive from Oradea) granting the opportunity to meet Gabi from Iochebed, spending also a day with my friend Violeta who graciously drove me to two new works; namely ‘THE FARM’ and ‘CASA FILIP’.

It was a joy to renew fellowship with Gabi, to hear of her planned events throughout the summer months, to read her heart as she lovingly spoke of the poverty aspect in the homes of young gypsy mothers with large families where owing to having only one pair of shoes, only one child can attend school each day. The joy of reassurance filled my heart as we donated from the unfailing supply of our gracious Lord the sum of £3,000.  ‘He hath filled the hungry with good things’ (Luke 1:53).

‘THE FARM’ has to be seen to be believed!  Five acres of land where volunteers (including orphans from local orphanages) are busy levelling the land, brushing up cement, cutting grass, hedge trimming, while a local builder is erecting an amazing place for orphans to come on a regular basis where they are offered the opportunity to learn life skills, discover talents and abilities.  At the age of eighteen the transition out of the institutions is frightening for one who has never known the outside world especially when you are without identity papers!   The Farm will offer a home base, an address to allow each individual orphan to receive their own personal ID.  Emil is the newest employee as a farm maintenance assistant and he is the first to call this place “home” officially.  A team led by David Morton (a Director of Tell Romania) has just returned from a work trip in May where he was joined by builders, joiners, plumbers, electricians … interested?  David’s next work trip is in September! Our friend Allan Hopper has taken on the role to oversee as Project Manager.

‘CASA FILIP’ I looked at my friend Violeta as she kindly carried two cool drinks to a shaded part of the gardens surrounding Casa Filip. Even in the car as we made the long journey to The Farm the thermometer was reading 36 degrees and it was hot!  A keen gardener (of a past day) I was admiring her attention to detail, her love depicted in the choice of flowers.   My thoughts turned to the loss in her own personal life of a beloved husband whose life was totally dedicated to the Lord and the gain now offered to countless lives.  It felt good to chat as friend to friend; we smiled together and yes cried together as we remembered Filip who was loved by so many and a precious student to Dr. Moore in Irish Baptist College.

The accommodation is outstanding and is a miracle of love and grace, offering a place to stay to patients who travel from far away villages to Cluj for cancer treatment.  The accommodation is extended to relatives or friends who accompany those receiving treatment.  The demand is high with bookings into 2020.

So important to live only for God and to fulfil his purpose for all of our days.  As Job said, ‘I would seek unto God, and unto God would I commit my cause’.

Shirley, 07 July, 2019
 
 

Jehovah Shamma

Shirley Open hands , , ,

(The Lord Was There)

Today I felt as though I was walking a road filled with Cactus plants; the roads are rough and uneven, yet it is a known fact that the flower of this plant symbolizes warmth, protection and endurance.  From the outward and inward perspective all I hold in my heart is the hardness of difficulty and the reality of pain, where life itself has become a burden to so many of my patients and families.  The darkest night has stars; these nights they are obscure from view.  I struggle to grasp, or even touch with my fingertip the very fringe of their need.  This morning my first visit with Emanuel Hospice to Elizabeth did not take place, this precious lady was taken from the scene of time in a moment, so soon, so unexpectantly.  Time is short for so many, they need to know that in the midst of their personal storm the Lord is the only one who can calm the raging seas, torrential rain to a whisper (Psalm 107: 29). ‘Take God on thy route and thou shalt banish wrinkles from thy brow.  Gethsemane itself shall not age thee if thou tread by the side of Jesus; for it is not the place of thy travel that make thee weary – it is the heaviness of thy step’ (George Matheson).

sadeye

As Elisha I prayed ‘Lord, open my eyes’. I have no doubt that I will see things differently, remembering how the Lord stooped to pick up little children in his arms, how his humility touched so many. Visits today where somewhat different ranging from the local shopping mall to a small kitchen area with one wizened apple lying on a bare table.  It was quickly washed, dried and offered to me with a face of sincerity that touched my very heart strings. The humbleness of my friends makes me feel so small, so inadequate and I pray that the lowliness of Christ be real to those who pass my way if only once.

As we drove through the mountain area of Meirlau it was quite an experience.  Roads filled with cattle, sheep, geese all ‘SLOWLY’ making their way home.  ‘Shirley, it’s three minutes past five’ came the tones from the front seat.  My husband and I hurriedly made our way into the village church. I paused one moment, (even though a little late) and listened to the brass band play ‘Burdens are lifted at Calvary’.  It may be rough, it may be steep but ‘I will make the place of thy feet glorious’.  And it was! The singing of the congregation; the brass ensemble of the Meirlau Church; the prayers of the family of God; my eyes were opened and I felt my heart could minister in the emotion where for many the mower’s scythe had cut deep. Yes, we can grow impatient simply because we do not ‘stop’ to see even the beginning of God’s great mercy.

It has been seventeen months since my last visit to my friend Magdelina. A frail, smaller lady stood by the door watching for my coming.  I heard her sobs before I saw the small figure in the doorway.  I held her close as she sobbed ‘It has been so long, I never thought I would live to see you again’.  Her condition and circumstances have worsened and as we chatted around the kitchen table, our friendship seemed sweeter.  These people have become my people; my family; the children I never had.  Emotion fills my heart and yet I am ‘at home’.   Caterina was my next patient.  There on a small bed I found a quiet lady with a beautiful smile.  She is suffering from a malignant neck tumour which is now spreading to her ear and brain.  I noticed a sewing machine in the corner and she smiled as she told me she purchased this machine forty years ago and it is still working.   A seamstress all her life her sewing machine brought food to her table. ‘Being a widow was difficult, it was my only source of income to feed my children’.  I gazed at the self-portrait on the wall and the image before me. How quickly the petals of a rose fall quietly to the ground and how quickly our day comes to an end. Young Ionut (21) confined to a lifetime in bed, unable to make any movement with his legs and arms, he can only move his head and fingers.  At present I am trying to source a specialist wheel chair with extensions to 100cm wide to accommodate his left leg position.  The Lord provided the electric wheel chair for Brother Emeric. Let us by faith wait on God’s timing. Later, alone with my thoughts I prayed: ‘Lord, help me to give freely of myself as thou gave to me’. ‘A calm hour with God is worth a whole lifetime with man’ (Robert Murray McCheyne). Others may boast of themselves, their work or achievements: today I could identify with the words of a hymn my mother used to sing: ‘I see thee not, I hear thee not, Yet art thou oft with me’ And earth hath ne’er so dear a spot, As where I meet with thee’.

This morning as we drove to the village of Santa the meter was reading 35degs and it was hot!  Soon we arrived at the home of Sister Marioara Patcas. As I opened the gate numerous lines of washing softly blowing in the wind greeted me; but then this is a family of thirteen children. Sister Marioara and her children attend the local Pentecostal church.  A few months ago, her husband contracted a rare virus in the meat factory where he was employed, causing brain paralysis.  This precious sister smiled as she spoke of her husband and his Home Call all to glory.  Her children range from seven to twenty-four and work the land in order to live. The older girls were eager to introduce me to their younger siblings. I passed one cow where two little girls were carrying milk to the kitchen where another little girl was busy making cheese; my journey brought me to three little heads who seemed to pop up from nowhere as they joyfully collected eggs from their hens; ‘Do you think you will collect fourteen today?’ I asked.  Still more little heads appeared this time picking green beans from the vegetable plot for Mama to prepare soup for tea.  Me thought:  Milk and eggs for breakfast; soup and potatoes for dinner and all from their own hand.  The family wanted to plant Strawberries to sell at market also and the Lord met this need. Indeed, the lovely things of life are quietness and gentleness, and this family refreshed my heart with the love they have one for the other.  Four of the girls have just completed the Golden Needle Course in Casa Grace and proudly displayed their dresses and skirts.  Even in the tumult of recent months there was peace.  How blessed though the love of ladies in Londonderry a sewing machine has place of honour in this home. I thought of the verse in 1 Corinthians 3: 9 ‘God’s tilled land’ and thought today I visited ‘God’s Farm’.

We briefly called at the home of the Lingurar family to be introduced to their new baby girl of ten days old. Samuel (11) works very hard maintaining the ground for his mother, he enjoys building and fixing the wiring to ensure the hens do not take a walk on the busy road, ending up on a neighbours table!   In earlier blogs I shared with you this family were at risk also of losing their home – God proved he was the God of the impossible; there is now no risk of eviction.  As I think of recent families Sister Neli wrote to me about: Podila, Cir; Badea; Dobai; Druta to name but a few; different families, different needs, I feel privileged I am part of the strings in one of God’s instruments.

My final Wednesday (this trip) and I eagerly made my way to the Orphanage Centre.  My friend Dora was waiting for me on the balcony with Isabella eager to play. I so love my time alone with my babies and was encouraged during this mission trip with the possibility of two of my beloved little girls being fostered.   Adam, in the USA, who never leaves my heart, is progressing but still attached to all the machines.  Each day a therapist works to make him more independent of them.  He is a brave little warrior.  Could I ever have imagined the journey this little one would take. Adam is a miracle of God’s grace and mercy.  My heart is drawn to the abandoned, orphaned, down syndrome children as I find myself becoming involved at a deeper level, wanting to learn, to know so much more.  I suppose it is not so much what we have or possess but it is more how much do we give back to the Lord in our service no matter how insignificant?
‘Instead of the dry land, springs of water! Instead of heaviness, the garment of praise! Instead of the thorn, the fir tree! Instead of the brier, the myrtle tree!  Instead of ashes, beauty!

Methinks how much have I learned from the difficulties I have faced these past three weeks?  Some whose life has been filled with nothing but hard places but who have continued to travel their personal road of faith in the one who can replace the shade with the sunshine of his face.  ‘Sister Shirley, we are here’, the voice of Monika brought me back to the reality of the day.  Laughter filled the small hallway as John whose life has been dedicated to his beloved daughter Dora extended his hand of friendship.  John has lived a life of unwavering faith in God.  The winds of change blew only sadness as Dora is locked within her body; unable to wash, dress, walk, feed herself, her father carries her lovingly in his arms to the small kitchen table where Dora spends her days.  ‘Guess Who’ I called; ‘My Dora’ was waiting. 

Although in her mid-thirties she has the mind of a child of five; she kissed and hugged in her childlike manner until I could hardly breathe.  ‘I love you Sister Shirley but you did not come for my birthday in March’ – ‘I’m sorry, but I am here now and Auntie Barbara has sent you lots of gifts’. As Dora, anxious to see her special treats waited patiently, John told me he and Dora prayed for Dr. Moore every morning; how he wondered in his own thoughts would we ever return?  We shared thoughts from the Apostle Paul’s experience how the words of personal promise during his trial became precious. John is a special man with a special task and has known the joy of personal interludes of blessing.  All to soon it was time to leave but I will make the journey across town in October to see her. She will always be ‘My Dora’ waiting at her tiny kitchen table, this is her special place, her palace.

The village of Tileayd was quite an experience for Mrs. Shirley this morning.  I was warmly greeted by horses, dogs, goats, one-day old chicks fluttering all around me.  Taking a deep breath, I continued to bravely walk on.  Mihalia rushed towards me and ushered me into the one room she shares with her three daughters: Bianca, Laura and Alina.  Mihalia has no husband, no home and is so thankful to her mother for this one room accommodation.  Her simplicity of love caused tears to flow down my face as I asked: ‘What is your greatest need just now?’  She smiled, taking my hand and said: ‘God bless you for our food; food is all we ask’.  Her oldest daughter, Bianca is suffering from a renal tumour and is very sick.  Her beautiful dark eyes pierced my heart, there was no evidence of fear walking this unfamiliar road of uncertainty.  We talked for what seems hours and soon it was time to leave through the archways of amazing vines; sadly they would not be ripened until August.  Breakfast for ‘The Moore’s on Mission Trips consists of Romanian honey on toast with juicy Romanian grapes.  A picture of what will be waiting when we return.

Dami is an amazing young boy of fourteen, recently diagnosed with a brain tumour which is continuing to spread; his sight is completely gone. A painful process for this family as they watch their young son deteriorate. Dami wanted to be baptised with his mother as he said he didn’t want to meet Jesus without being baptised.   He hugged me warmly as since losing his sight this is his only form of greeting.  They are a very close family who attend the local Hungarian Baptist Church; they feel the nearness of the Lord and see the rainbow even in the thunderstorm.

Today a beautiful little girl of four lies ill in Timisoara hospital.  The only daughter of a young couple and their need is great.  Raluka suffers from Sarcoma which is a rare form of cancer.  Some patients may be cured if the main tumour is removed by surgery.  Already this little darling has undergone surgery removing her two ribs and part of her lungs. Whisper ‘Raluka’ tonight in prayer. Her parents are heart broken.

Soon it will be time to travel to Cluj where I will meet with my friend Violeta Faragau, together we will visit a new outreach for orphans namely ‘THE FARM’.  I will visit first and then write about this work.  Our second stop will be Casa Filip, a resource centre for those struggling with cancer coming to Cluj Napoca for treatment.  The house is in memory of Pastor Filip Faragau, called home 04 August, 2016. Sister Gabi from Iochebed in Suceava will spend the evening with me updating me on the work and progress of our new Pro-Life Project ‘Thank You for Letting Me Live’.  The Lord has provided £3,000 to purchase dried milk for the remainder of 2019.  We continue to reach with outstretched hands those who do not know the touch of love or care.

These have been emotional days for me personally, yet special days. In my mind I am still travelling the road to Cighid.  I cannot wipe the memory from my mind, I cannot forget the look of longing, the hand outstretched for someone to hold or even care.  Each evening I pass through those hoovering locked gates and always end up asking myself the same question: ‘Have I not sent thee?’  With unwavering faith in a God who never fails I launch a programme for the fifty adult orphans in Cighid. They urgently require bedding, special items of clothing, boots, slippers.  £50 per orphan will ensure all fifty will be warm this Romanian winter.  I feel as if my ‘nest’ has been stirred; I want to help rebuild these lives of destruction who cannot plan for the future; they live only in the day of an unknown tomorrow. They did not choose their lot in life but we can bring life to them as we stretch out our hand in love assuring them they are not deserted.  Although bereft of beauty and acceptance they must not be bereft of our love.

‘Fallen threads I will not search for, I will weave’ (George MacDonald)

Shirley, June 28, 2019.

The prick of a thorn

Shirley Open hands , , , 0 Comment

thorns-3521375_1920The Captain of the Wizz Air Airbus announced ‘prepare for landing’.  My heart missed a beat!  December 2017, my thoughts were somewhat different, wondering would I ever return?  The past experience may have halted my journey, introducing me to a road never walked before; the road of waiting and limitation.  I (impatiently) ‘waited by the brook’, reminding myself that the Lord knows my heart and in fact knows everything about me.

I was not prepared for the next step when Hamilton who had journeyed to Romania alone joined me on this road. I remember driving home from the Renal Unit and asking ‘Lord why me, why now?’  There is no balance or security as to what life may bring our way, God’s timing is a new day of opportunity and if we allow ourselves to ‘Be Still’ we will experience an intimate relationship with the one who is continually holding us with his right hand. Looking back, I learned that when we allow the Lord to carry us, especially through days of anxiety, his plan will succeed and we can rejoice in the Lord through it all.  The road has been long, differing bends, awkward turns, causing an apprehension of what might be.   It is difficult to sleep when thoughts overtake your mind, I watched the shadow of night disappear followed with the sun coming over the horizon. Another new day and yet I know I cannot depend on feelings that may change from day to day, I must concentrate on a road leading to definite challenges resulting in prayerful and thoughtful consideration with one goal: ‘What Can I Give?’.   I must listen for his voice.

Fourteen hours of travel was long and tiring – we climbed those amazing stairs to our student room longing for a cup of tea.  My dear friend Monika whose heart never ceases to amaze me had left supplies to ensure our comfort.  Suddenly a gentle knock at our door, the amazing heart followed by her amazing smile of welcome. ‘Please forgive me, I could not wait any longer to see you and give you a hug’.

The following morning, in fact just a few hours later I made my way down the stairs, staff, students calling ‘Sister Moore, is that really you? You are back at last’. Yes, I thought, I am finally home.   As I drove to the Orphanage Centre my mind kept repeating the words written by Walter J Mathams ‘Jesus Friend of Little Children, be a friend to me’.  Dora was waiting for me.  Elena (Director of the Centre) ran out to meet me, the questioning glances of parents were replaced with outstretched hands of welcome.  Roland who suffers from Down Syndrome kissed my hand which melted my heart.  ‘I remember you’. My feeling of apprehension was replaced with an inner confidence.  Claudia welcomed me to the Abandoned Baby wing and as I held baby Eric, Elijah and Isaac in my arms, listening to their cries, my heart broke as I wiped their tears.  Abandoned, severely disabled, left alone without any hope of a future.  Questions flooded my mind, their life span from infancy to?  I had no words, I found myself silently repeating the last verse: ‘Never leave me, nor forsake me; Ever be my friend; For I need Thee, from life’s dawning to its end’.

I am so thankful I have been given time to continue to kindle the fire in those who are dying without the Lord.  If I had the choice, I would choose to keep burning without wasting one single day. ‘Thou shall love thy neighbour as thyself’.  These words pierced my heart as I opened a broken gate held together by string into a yard filled with ‘earthly goods’ from the families who have been evicted in April.  One elderly lady sat motionless, her bird cage hanging from a tree, one pot boiling on a makeshift campfire (in this extreme heat).  We can choose those we love but neighbourly love in its fitting place must reside within our hearts.  Today was beyond my comfort zone, I felt the need to calm my thoughts, to allow myself to be impelled with the best motive. I have personally proved the Lord to be my friend, I ask myself: ‘Am I willing to be a friend to these people?’ Hands were clasped in friendship as I met Sister Druta, the Lord saw her in her need and his compassions never fail.  A state apartment has been found in the centre of Oradea, close to the train station.  It is in a state of disrepair and has one disadvantage in sharing a communal bathroom with other residents.  I have spoken with Monika this morning; plans are in place to commence repairs immediately. The Lord’s provision through his people was £1,000 reminding me that the Lord blessed quietly and unnoticed, may I have a similar grace in bringing light into this darkness.  Love and Light go hand in hand.

Stefania was waiting for me in her Special Chair, again a provision from the Lord.  This is the season of joy in Romania, the fields ripening with fruit reminding us that the Lord sends his blessings in so many different forms.  Stefania is lovingly cared by her parents and grandmother who serve quietly with such patience.  This beautiful young girl is locked within her body and apart from her eyes is unable to move.  She is very intelligent and received a diploma in the Special Needs School.  The sacrifice of this family is evident yet there is no complaint, only courage to continue.  Let me learn from these people.

Visiting Romanian homes especially those living on the edge of a village in the Roma Community I am immediately struck by the colour displayed in the carpets on walls, beds, many woven by the elderly hands I now hold, the evidence of toil clearly visible. The ladies love to tell you of the background surrounding the beautiful designs possibly handed down from generation to generation.  It is emotional sharing with these terminally ill patients, Sister Elizabeth, once her threads of life were bright and radiant now the colours have changed weaving only dark shades.

Brother Emeric did not want to talk of his terminal illness rather to share his testimony outlining fifty years of preaching the gospel during Communist times. With tears streaming down his face he told me of his days in the Communist Army when his bible was discovered he was told to burn it immediately. He refused time and time again and even under severe threat he never wavered in his faith in God.  He was to prove the faithfulness of God in his miraculous escape.   I looked at his precious wife, herself ill and nearly blind, I thought really, we are all weavers in one way or another but until the pattern is completed, we must keep on working with the threads of life. He longs to see the sunshine but is unable to walk and because of his wife’s blindness she is unable to assist her beloved husband.  Emeric needs an electric wheelchair. Young Ionut (21) suffering from muscular dystrophy, both legs spreading 100cm.  Just now I am sourcing a special wheelchair or extensions to allow easy access to hospital.  The Lord will provide.

‘Good Morning, you must love this centre, you are back’ was the greeting of Elena, director of the Orphanage. What can I say, it is true?  And who should run to meet me but Aaron.  Aaron is a very special young boy who suffers from Down Syndrome who loves to draw special pictures of his Grandmother.  Then I made my way to the Abandoned Baby Wing again and this morning it was the turn of Bobby and Isabella to play with me in the Therapy Room.

My Girls still remain in my heart, there is still that special bond remaining after all the change the past four years has brought. I longed to see them once again.   Alice (who painted the murals on the walls of Adam’s Room) had a surprise for me: ‘I want you to meet Emanuel he is soon to be my husband’. Emma ‘I must see you, I will soon be gone’. Yes, Emma will take up a new post as a Physiotherapist thirty kilometres from Oradea. Sylvia calling with her husband Alex who was leaving for a one week Mission Trip in Moldova.  Oana, driving from Venice to introduce me to her baby daughter Elizabeth.  It seems only yesterday our ‘Beauty of Holiness’ group shared together – some married and proud mothers.  Life, love, hope, dreams fulfilled.  Gifts from the master weaver of life.

The road leading to the gaming area of Cighid was filled with pot holes, making our journey slower than usual.  Sunflowers in their hundreds filled the fields. ‘Sister Shirley, the sunflower oil’ Mihai informed me.  Just then as a flash of lightning, a young deer skipped from one side of the road to another.  Robin Mark wrote ‘As the deer pants for the water …’ As we continued our journey down the dusty road the two large locked gates hovered in the distance, the words ‘You alone are my strength, my shield’ filled my heart and I needed to feel the closeness of his presence for what awaited me. The greeting from the fifty adult orphans was overwhelming.  Although unable to communicate or possess normal skills they ran screaming toward the car.  Many recognised me and came touching, hugging, holding on tightly, following your every step; ‘I love you’ one lady aged fifty one said. I stopped, looked around and wept. Thirty-three females and seventeen males, precious souls who have never known a sense of serenity.  No blue sky only clouds of darkness and the depth of the tempest has left its mark, their foundations crumbled many years ago.

Estera and I entered a Roma village many miles from Oradea, a beautiful little girl (dressed in pink) her dark curly hair blowing in the soft wind, was walking the long and dusty road with her Daddy.   ‘Sister Shirley, this is the family we will visit’.  We seemed to drive for miles, passing one horse in a very large field; it certainly was obscure and far removed from society.  Simona greeted me but I could see as she tried to smile she had been crying.  In one corner of the small gypsy home a new born baby lay: Abraham Isaac and there in the other corner lay Baby Alexandra, her tiny body whimpering sounds of pain.  As I nursed this little darling you could see the least movement caused her pain. How can I define the pleasure of their new born son and the pain of their darling Alexandra? The sunshine is fading and is replaced by shadows as is the light with darkness.  Little Deborah (2) was busy emptying the food parcels we had purchased from Penny Market on route, she laughed with excitement as she found the items we had brought especially for her.  ‘Mine’ she laughingly said, rushing over to a special place of hiding.  It brought one moment of joy to this humble home. ‘Please tell me, what do you need; how can I help’? Simona knows that the Lord will perform whatever he has appointed for her and that he will be with her in the trial.  We will support this precious young family who continue to serve the Lord in the Pentecostal Church during these days of trial.

Kevin is back in hospital in Timisoara.  An MRI scan is required to ensure his cancer remains in remission.  I did have a special letter to deliver from his adopted Grandparents in Falkirk, Scotland. It is on its way.  I look forward to seeing him in the Autumn.

‘I never thought you would return’ cried my friend Elizabeth as I entered her small room.  Her husband John greeted me singing a psalm unto the Lord.  We shared precious moments together catching up on all the news from her family and grandchildren.  Elizabeth’s cancer is in remission and we thank the Lord for his mercies.  I placed a handbag filled with personal hygiene products on her table.  She wept as she told me she needed a bag but had no money to buy one.  Our Heavenly Father knows and cares.
As I reflect on the past two weeks this has been a Valley of Silence for me – I am finding the pain overwhelming – pain that pierces deep as the thorn that pricks.  The pain I feel when visiting the terminally ill, the pain I see in the faces of the orphans, the pain as I listen to the cries of the abandoned babies and the pain in Cighid.  I cannot speak of my Valley of Silence just now; it is a personal journey as I feel the heartbeat of those harrowed by care.  The dark mountain of sadness that towers over so many.  ‘Why?’ just now I cannot see but it is enough for me to trust his love.

One thing I do see and see clearly, we must continue to support in our Feeding Programme, in our care.  Earlier in this blog I wrote Brother Emrico needed an electric wheelchair.  Within one day I have received a text from David Morton telling me one is on its way.

Let us keep spreading our wings proving the Lord is faithful.

Shirley, 21 June, 2019.

The response of grateful love

Shirley Open hands , , , 0 Comment

‘That ye may be sincere and without offence … being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God’

Obligated by love, it is now time ‘TO GO’.  Time to return ‘HOME’.  We read in the word of God we are to ‘love one another’ and so I need to discipline myself, tell myself, I am strong enough to share the sorrow which those I love have come to know, to soften hearts that perhaps are unreachable, harbouring disappointment and loss. I go with the assurance that God is in control and that he and he alone can change any circumstance, achieving, attaining above and beyond all we ask.    Kindle the fire of prayer with me, pray as I serve in love, the depths of hopelessness will be replaced with a fragrance of HOPE.

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I pause for a moment as I think of the costliness of love in the loss experienced by so many hurting lives, leaving many with a broken heart. Those who just look to be loved. Yes, I will visit Cighid again on this mission trip. Keep your fire burning. These will be emotional days of reunion and yet there is not only an urgency but a longing to go.  Help me show the loveliness of Christ as I visit new patients, new families; the Druta family where God has provided £1,000; Casa Grace are looking for a small rental in the centre of Oradea.  I hold in my heart that all important smile as I touch the little cheek of an unwanted baby. Go with me day by day, hold me close in prayer as I encounter new works, new challenges.  The pattern of my life?  Clearly set out for me, the Lord Jesus took the little children in his arms and … may I carry these little lambs in my heart also.

In the business of preparation today, my thoughts differ from joy to sadness. Those I long to see: Dora, Stefania, Elizabeth, Kevin, my treasures in the Orphanage and Abandoned Baby wing where thanks to a group of Ladies in Londonderry every baby will be provided with two new outfits, new shoes from Bishops, Coleraine. A cloud covers my emotions as I think of my visit with Baby Alexandra, Little Victor, the homes without my precious Dada, Deborah, Denisa …… the list is endless.  I go depending on the one who is my strength, leaving it all in his hands.  The words of a particular song fill my heart.

Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I’m your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause nothing else can take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace

He indeed is all I want; all I will ever need and so as He draws me close to Him during these days of emotion and discovery (there is still more to accomplish) I will be held securely in His embrace.

Pray for Hamilton and I as we leave tomorrow with the dawn.  I will send regular updates informing you of all my visits to patients, families, orphanage, not forgetting my meeting with Gabi from Iochebed.  An exciting two days of visiting new works in Cluj:  The Farm and Casa Filip.
These are days of faith stretching circumstance – walk with me.

Shirley, 10 June, 2019
 

Why am I loving?

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WHY AM I LOVING?

“Service to God is the deliberate love-gift of a nature that has heard the call of God. Service is an expression of my nature, and God’s call is an expression of His nature. Therefore, when I receive His nature and hear His call, His divine voice resounds throughout His nature and mine and the two become one in service. The Son of God reveals Himself in me, and out of devotion to Him service becomes my everyday way of life.”  Oswald Chambers.

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Illustrative Image from pixabay.com

‘May his love be my love’.  Since writing those words in my blog of April 14, 2019, my prayers have become ‘work’.  Days when I ask myself ‘Who am I loving?’ ‘Why am I loving?’ It can be difficult at times.
Only five barley loaves; A few small fish; The widow who gave two tiny copper coins – gave all she had.  I must give as he gave to me. May I never turn away from those who do not matter to anyone even though inside I silently question ‘Why, the waste?’ Why the famine raging in so many lives? Do I notice the poor whose desperation drives them to despair?  I wonder if I would be willing to share my last morsel as the widow of Zarephath?  Love loves to give regardless of the cost, it cannot be measured.   We all can extend our love by taking hold of a faltering hand, they don’t know what it is to feel ‘special’.

ADAM
Mark 10: 16 And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them.  The Lord Jesus expressed great love for children; he always made time for them even in the midst of the thronging crowds. He still took time for perhaps that little insignificant figure standing before him in wonder. So as I think of my Adam I think of hugs, laughter and the ‘special times’ we shared together.  Adam has undergone the second phase of heart surgery; this morning Adam has contracted a severe infection which may require immediate surgery.  Please join me in taking my little one in your arms in prayer; hold him close to your heart and commit him into the hands of the One who will lead, guard and direct all his ways.  A little life clearly part of God’s plan.


EMANUEL HOSPICE:
Baby Alexandra remains in hospital.  A tube has been inserted from her brain to her stomach to control the liquid formatting in her tiny head. The tube detached and staff are trying to find a specialist to replace.  The situation is critical, as Sister Simona will give birth to her fourth child by the end of May.


Nathanael (12) diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma (a very rare type of cancerous tumour).  His recovery is slow and he is unable to go home.  He knows only pain each day and just longs to be at home with his family.
Young and old are affected. Buda Vasile (69) (widower) suffering from a tumour located in his kidney, Buda lives with two of his five sons in a very old house with unsanitary conditions. One son has mental retardation and in spite of this is the one who cares for his father as the other son must work to be the main source of financial support.  Sadly, his other three sons do not visit their father often.  Pray as Adriana visits regularly, caring for his medical needs but also sharing the gospel that Buda will be open to the power of God in salvation.


And still they come:  Ionut Lutas (21) has been in the care of Emanuel Hospice for ten years.  He suffers from muscular dystrophy and was first admitted to the team as a child of eleven.  His mother also has muscular dystrophy and the father survived cancer having one of his legs amputated. Hold this family close in heart, they need to come to know the Lord in saving grace. Life is a continuous storm for many yet in their suffering covered by perhaps a faint smile


PLEASE REMEMBER

 Smiles enter my heavy heart as I think of Kevin.   The first day I met Kevin he could only crawl on his knees and when he called after me ‘Lady will you come back to see me’ …. He will be able to walk to greet me in four weeks – I can’t wait.

Little Victor searches your heart with two little eager eyes as he silently wonders within ‘when can I go home?’

Dami (14) blind, suffering from a brain tumour. His mother cannot bear the thought of life without her little boy who is so precious to her.

Eva (49) blind and whose brain tumour is spreading rapidly.  Eva needs to know love, feel security, yet because of circumstances must live with her sister in a damaged house of disrepair.  Her sister can be aggressive owing to schizophrenia. A tragic situation. Her final days? 

Harrowed hearts, mountains of sorrow, we continue to love and support them on their journey.

CASA GRACE
Words such as poverty, obscurity, rejection, unloved come to mind as I view the new case studies on my desk this morning.  Restless minds walking dirt roads hoping to find an unclaimed corner, a place of shelter; not knowing where their next meal will come from; no town or home to return to; no smile of welcome.   Not a story, a reality.   Methinks how poor can one be?  This is WHY I am loving and WHO I am loving. How much more can I show my love?  Lord teach me.


I think of the Grandmother of the Badea family who came to Casa Grace desperately in need of a listening ear.    Her daughter and grandson (10) share the state owned property.  The little boy (Narcis) is unable to see, hear or speak suffering from spastic paralysis on his left side, hydrocephalus and epilepsy.  Owing to his many health complications the father abandoned his wife and son, Luminita is low in self esteem because of the mountains crashing down upon her.  As I sort the papers into priority needs I ask myself ‘What value do I place on £5 per week?’ The differing needs and many difficulties are prayerfully and carefully considered and yes at times I am concerned as to the how can I?  Will I? Then I remember that He who has called you to do it will equip you accordingly.  The task may be difficult but not impossible ‘In Him’.  If I am their friend, I need to show the character of love and dependence. £5 will feed one family for one week.  Thank you for feeding my friends.  Together we are one.


THE DRUTA FAMILY
My spirit is at peace as I trace the recent journey surrounding Sister Anna and her girls. No garden of flowers for this family only thorns, thistles and briers in the way.  Yet winter storms have been replaced with vines glowing with grapes in the dark and dingy yard where they live.
April Update highlighted the desperation facing this family consisting of a single sickly mother and her two young daughters.  My friend Monika telephoned me confirming the meeting with the State of Oradea went well.  They listened intently to the case as outlined in my previous update.  The prayers of the family of God were evident with the outcome being the family will not be evicted until an affordable low rental can be offered to house Anna and her daughters.  Their cup of bitterness was replaced with the cup of joy and expectation.  Characters had been changed; points of view had changed.  The Lord has done great things and indeed his ways are past finding out.  Thank you to those of you whose hearts were moved toward this family.  I have already arranged to visit them on my return to Romania in four weeks when Monika and I will set in place a projected plan to assist rental for the first year through your love gifts to the Druta Family.

PLEASE REMEMBER

The seven children from one family whose father suffers from a mental disorder leading to aggression, they make ‘nets’ to sell in the hope of raising money for food.

The families who were evicted from their homes, one father who aimlessly wanders the streets of Romania and whose daughter has been taken away from him.

The son from one family hospitalised two week every two months.

The family at risk of losing their children owing to lack of employment, health issues and unstable home environment.

 I recall asking one mother whose children were in an orphanage: ‘why did you give your children away for so many years?’  Her reply: ‘I had no choice and because I loved them’.

IOCHEBED
‘Breathe on me breath of God…That I may love as Thou dost love’.  The hymn continues: ‘And do as Thou …’  Vera has known the wild winds of a life lived in a desert place.  No whispers of peace, no flowing streams, no outpouring of love, only hardship and grief, a life of wasted years. Thankfully she has knocked the door of Iochebed.   Gaby and her team will help rebuild the ruins of her life.


VERA is ill.  Her days are days of endless decisions:  There is only enough money for medicine or food – which is the greater necessity?  How can you answer that? Vera a mother of eight girls, lived a difficult life filled with hardship and abuse.  Her face is familiar to the team as she had been recommended to come to Iochebed for counselling, practical help and guidance some years ago. Her first thought of abortion was replaced by assurance and hope.  Sadly, the baby died within a few days of birth leaving a deep wound and lack of confidence in herself.


Vera has come to know the Lord as her Saviour and rejoices in the goodness and blessing of the Lord.  Three of her eight daughters have heart defects (two have undergone surgery).  This week Vera has come asking for prayer as her seventeen-year-old daughter who has to attend Santa Maria Hospital in Lasi for investigations.  We have been enabled to subsidise the transport and other expenses from the gifts received specifically for the work of Iochebed.  Pray for Adina who underwent surgery two years ago but through recent investigations sixteen diagnostics have been found (some serious).
Vera is one of many families who come our way.  How blessed we are to discover the differing individual lives and characters of so many inviting us into their life.


CHILD LIFE ROMANIA
Silvia has now confirmed that after a long epidemic, access has finally been granted to recommence our craft classes on the paediatric units.   The nursing staff are looking forward to the return of the psycho-social activities. The little ones can relax as they learn through the art of play to focus on the beauty of life.  Pray for Silvia and her team as they witness to the parents, grandparents who walk the corridors aimlessly.  Their depth of love is amazing and yet their love is limited as time can be short for some. Let us not be strangers but always have time to give.


Please remember David Morton and the work team who are spending two weeks in Cluj working on ‘THE FARM’.  The roof has successfully been placed and we give God the glory for this exciting project offering a placement, skills to the orphans of Romania.   Further information will be available.


Pray for us as we return to our beloved Romania today four weeks.  Visits are already in place for the works of Emanuel Hospice; Casa Grace; Orphanage; Cighid; Iochebed with three added trips to feel the heart of additional needs.  The travel will be intense, pray for strength, Godly wisdom in all decisions.


‘Lord let my words help and heal even ONE.
 
 

Let me love like Thee

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‘The greater the difficulty to be overcome, the more will it be seen to the glory of God how much can be done by prayer and faith.’ (George Muller)
Was it only thirteen days ago I wrote ‘Can I Ever Love Enough?’ A blog highlighting the fears, obstacles, difficulties, trials surrounding many lives.  I shared the crucial situation of my friends ‘The Druta Family’ facing ‘Eviction’ from their home of many years.  Since writing this particular update, I have questioned my heart as to the strength of my own love?  Does my love really feel their pain; loose the cords of anxiety; grow in strength; bless and pour in the oil of joy, even in the reality of uncertainty?
The Druta Family urgently need our prayers. They are living in fear and cannot leave their home after witnessing two neighbours return from shopping to find their homes ‘SEALED’.  The strokes of their wounds are deep and very severe. Sister Druta is now very weak and frail. Monika has sent me an email informing me of her concern as the Mum is very sick.   Her heart is fearful for her two young daughters and that no other alternative is available.   Will she too join the other families?    A single father and his daughter of thirteen were evicted last week. Now the father is wandering the streets and the daughter has been taken into care by Child Protection as there is no Mum. She died of cancer four years ago, and the father did not place the child in a Christian Orphanage as he loved her so much he wanted to keep her with him.   They are without hope!
The Druta family cannot live on the streets as the oldest daughter has many medical issues.  £25 each week is all they have for accommodation, food, medication, clothes, utility bills.  Often, we become absorbed in other cares and interests but can we focus on this family, praying they will know the love and support of the family of God.  ‘The Lord bindeth up the breach of his people, and healeth the stroke of their wounds’ Isa: 30: 26.
I ask that together you will join me in bringing this matter before the Lord.  Dark shadows are hoovering over these precious families. But we know there is One who is waiting in the darkness of night, in the shadows, and he will walk with us through every circumstance.  Our lives cannot be measured by loss or gain. We all have suffered pain in our lives; therefore we can give ‘OUR LOVE’.
 
 

Can I ever love enough?

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can I ever love enough
I Thessalonians 4: 11 ‘Study to be quiet’.  Just now this is my deepest need. The roar of pain within is overwhelming.  I need to learn in my quietness to know God in a deeper way, to ‘Be Still’ and let him feed and nourish my hu

rting heart   Oh that I may drink from the fountain of the Risen Lord! 
‘Can I ever love enough?’ is the question of my heart as I write. This morning the blustering winds were severe. I thought of those without shelter, food, health. They feel neglected, know nothing but famine in their sad lives.  Their cries for help demand I do love.  They may be a little past the hill but they are not at the top; how can one climb with a heavy heart? Inwardly I question ‘Why?’ but I must leave the ‘Why?’ to God.  Since my first ‘blog’ during the early days of my marriage to Hamilton, I have never encountered such brokenness, such devastation.  Spring is a beautiful time of year when we see new life appear, yet for many the morning dew never falls, their nights are a continual storm.   But there is still the dew of his sustaining grace, enough for each day.

It would be impossible to write my normal ‘blog’ owing to the depth of urgency surrounding the work of Casa Grace; Orphanage Centre; Emanuel Hospice; Iochebed. As you read the PRAYER REQUESTS will you climb the hill with me?

ADAM was making slow progress, eating yoghurt, stewed fruits etc. A few days ago he contracted a severe infection causing his heart to weaken.  The doctors suspect Septicaemia and he remains ill.  To date no confirmation of the prognosis has been received from USA. This little lamb needs to be carried close to our hearts.

ORPHANAGE CENTRE Dora does an amazing work with the marginalised children, down syndrome children and abandoned babies.  Yesterday we sent ‘Easter Animals’ for the children.  Thank you to the ladies from Londonderry.   These children need to feel loved, as the adult orphans can be aggressive due to their early years. Sufficient funds are in place to ensure ‘treats’ are available 365 days each year.  These are special little lambs also.

CASA GRACE – as I think of the work of Casa Grace Foundation, I am reminded of the words of Rev. F.B. Meyer ‘Oh for grace to wait and watch with God!’.  Monika and I are in daily contact by email or mobile.  I am privileged to be part of this small team of faithful servants who face grave situations each day, yet remain unwavering in their faith and trust in the Lord.  I wrote to Sister Neli telling her my heart was breaking as I read one particular email.  Let me share:

The Druta family consist of a mother (very sick) and two young daughters.  They are facing a desperate situation in losing their small home due to eviction orders being served in the neighbourhood.  They have not been offered alternative accommodation and have nowhere to live.  They face living on the street.  I visited this home on many occasions and became attached to the oldest girl who has many medical problems.  She has lost weight and is unable to walk; her medical condition has worsened due to the stress.  As a team we are praying the Lord will meet this need in order for them to remain together as a family.  Their weekly income is £25 – an impossible task for three people to manage the cost of Rent; Food; Medicines; Clothing. Can we ever love enough?

The work of Casa Grace is extensive, covering a wide spectrum of need.  And still there is more.  One family consisting of seven children – sadly the father suffers from a mental disorder and can be aggressive.  The children work at home making ‘nets’ to sell in order to live.  Another family where the son has severe health issues, having to be hospitalised for two weeks every two months.  Food, Hygiene, Treatment was made available.  A family at risk of losing their children owing to lack of employment, health issues, an unstable home environment.  Through the witness of Casa Grace they have started to attend Church. Please pray they will come to know the Saviour. 

Families continue to come to CASA, knowing we care. This week I received case studies, ranging up to nine children in one family.  Our support is not just about a Feeding Programme. It is about giving living bread, the Bread of Life.  Thank you for enabling us to continue.  Where there is a surplus of clothes, these are donated to the work of Dumbrava Rosa who care for homeless people until their final days.

In my distress as I read the needs, I felt actual pain, I allowed myself to become anxious and overwhelmed.  ‘Study to be quiet’ – I needed to learn that my faith is restored when I stop trying to sort myself and leave the matter to God knowing ALL is part of his plan.

EMANUEL HOSPICE continue to walk a desert road, visiting parched hearts of the adult patients, whose spirit has gone as has the days of their youth.  The number of terminally ill patients is staggering, yet devotion and dedication restore faith in the weariness at the close of each day.  The remains of the day for many are limited for young and old alike.
Eva (49) diagnosed with a brain tumour (now blind).  She must now live with her sister in a damaged house in need of much repair.  Her sister suffers from schizophrenia and can be aggressive.  Hold Eva very close in your heart that during her final days she will experience how ‘He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.  He telleth the number of the stars; he calleth all by their names,’ Psalm 147: 3,4. 
Kevin is recovering well, attending school and walking for the first time in nine years.  Sadly little Victor has been readmitted to hospital.  His blood tests revealed he requires maintenance treatment now that his chemotherapy has finished.  I thought my Adam has amazing eyes – Victor’s little eyes search your face and enter your heart.  Please pray for his foster parents going through this difficult situation.

Baby Alexandra’s condition is deteriorating.  Due to excessive weight loss she is constantly in hospital and although she is nine months, she is very tiny.  Please and I repeat, please, pray for Sister Simona who lovingly cares for her little treasure day by day.  Heartbroken as she hears the little one’s sounds of pain due to the open wound in her tiny head.  The oncologist is looking for a surgeon to perform corrective surgery to close the wound.  Nine months of suffering…

Dami (14) suffering from a brain tumour.  He wanted to be baptised (with his Mum).  The tumour is spreading and his vision is affected; very soon he will be unable to see at all.  His mother is heartbroken.

IOCHEBED consist of three ladies working in Suceava.  I listened intently to the passion in their voices as they shared their work and I thought of the many sighs, tears, smarting wounds of life they heal through their services. Iochebed  offers counselling for unwanted pregnancies, proving the Love of God for the sanctity of life; medical treatments; ongoing projects in orphanages, schools; feeding programme ….. It is my heart’s desire to launch a new project: ‘THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME LIVE’.  Every three months we will send Fyffes Banana Boxes filled with New Cotton Baby Blankets/New Born Baby Clothes/Feeding Bottles/ Baby Wipes/Pampers and also £300 per month to cover Dried Milk.  We want to calm the storm in many lives and whisper ‘We Care’.

Here is an example to show that we cannot love enough and why the Lord placed on my heart the urgency to commence this new programme.  Alexandra, seventeen and unmarried has a baby of nineteen months.  Sadly Alexandra has an intellectual deficiency and gave birth to this little baby when she was only fifteen – a little baby girl weighing only 3.5 kilos.  Sadly the baby was diagnosed with various cardiac malformations, at this stage we supported with clothing, treatments etc.  Alexandra’s mother has come again with her daughter to request another pregnancy test which has proved positive, birth date to be November, 2019.  Sadly this young woman is not in a stable relationship with the father of the baby and is not mature enough to grasp or understand the responsibilities she will face with two young babies.  The little girl of nineteen months has been readmitted to hospital and may require surgery. Support in clothing, treatment and transport costs, food and hygiene have been offered as both mother and grandmother were unprepared for this emergency. ‘CAN I EVER LOVE ENOUGH?’

Casa Grace, Orphanage Centre, Emanuel Hospice, Iochebed are only a few of our areas of support. I continue to remember Child Life Romania, The Farm, The Street Children in Bucharest and the beautiful setting of Still Waters in Portstewart where a time of respite is offered to those in need of quietness of heart.  Application Forms are available by request.

As you have read, you will now know why I felt lead to write ‘the facts’.  Not stories but real lives.  Yes, I have felt pressure, the burden as I face these tragic situations.  But now I have ‘climbed the hill’ I refuse to change my thinking because I can never love enough, in fact, I refuse to come down.  There is no need for me to become overwhelmed, God is in control.   He sends a project and he will meet the need.

May his steps be my steps, may his love be my love, may his heart be my heart.  A heart for all.

Shirley, April 14, 2019

How much does it cost?

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(the image above is a free tom use image and not of any child mentioned in this post)

Zoltan (65), one of the adult patients receiving care from Emanuel Hospice Team, during the initial visit looked into their eyes and asked: ‘How much does it cost to pray for me?’ Another two elderly patients who declare themselves to be atheists, through the love, compassion and ministry of our devoted team are now open to the message of the greatest love of all. The heart of the eternal beats with love for all. ‘God Is Love’ and this love is given freely and without cost. Sickness; hunger; loneliness are unwelcome intruders.  Who is willing to soothe the pillow of hardship where desolation is a constant visitor.  ‘Love Your Neighbour…..’ Whether rich or poor, we are bound by love to love those we may think inferior, sunk in the depths of poverty, the shoeless, penniless, homeless man or woman  wandering the dark streets in rags … This is the kind of love I want to possess, a love flowing from the Holy Spirit, not a love of momentarily emotion.  George Matheson penned the beautiful hymn: ‘O Love That Will Not Let Me Go’.  I cannot close my heart to such powerful words of challenge.  Can my love offer rest; restore hope; light in darkness?

Baby Alexandra’s condition is deteriorating. How can I comfort dear Sister Simona as she sits alone in ICU where every second is precious as the life of her little one slowly ebbs away?   The added worry when the baby is in hospital is that her husband is unable to work as he cares for the children.  Simona will soon give birth to her fourth child.  Recently I shared the story of Damian (14) who was baptised in Emanuel Baptist Church with his mother.  A recent MRI scan has confirmed his brain tumour continues to develop.  His mother is devastated.  There is so much pain and suffering surrounding the work of the Hospice Team.  Patients whose day to day companion is non other than intense pain, pain for the one suffering and the loved one watching helplessly. The children who are struggling with the loss of a parent.  The Podariu Family – I knew the father well and visited many times. He sold his car to pay for surgeries that would give him longer with his wife and son.  He wanted so much to live but lost his battle just before Christmas. His young son is finding the loss of his father too much to bear just now. For Emeric suffering from colon cancer and who has undergone many surgeries, there is no morning sunrise, only the darkness of night.  Simona (46) with terminal cancer whose loving husband and son cannot face the fact that soon she will be gone.  A valley of tears for young and old and yet we know that whatever challenges or fears we face, once we fix our eyes on Jesus, all questions are answered and all fears dispelled.  ‘But we see Jesus’. Heb 2: 9.

In the stillness of my heart I have been carried during these days as I wait on news from USA.  Adam entered my heart during my first visit to the Abandoned Baby wing. His amazing dark eyes and curly hair melted my heart.  Adam has gone through windy storms in his short life and as I trace the hand of the Lord placing him in the care of missionary parents, my prayer is that this ‘special’ little one will grow to be a man set apart for God. The first stage of Adam’s surgery has taken place, lasting nearly seven hours.  Adam remains linked to the machines.  It is planned that within one month the second stage of the procedure will take place.  The race of life can take a different route, regardless of many obstacles and various difficulties; the Lord made a way when there seemed to be no route opening before us. I was guilty of not having sufficient faith for the present.  A lesson I needed to learn!  Dora sent me a video clip of Stefania in her chair, she was like a little dove, pure and fragile who had found the freedom of movement. The sparkle in her eyes told me all I needed to know. When we pray, we receive.

As I walked through a snow shower this morning, the chill and coldness of the air caused me to think of those whose nights of fear are cold and unwelcoming as they face the unknown morrow.  Another two little ones were brought to the Abandoned Baby wing this week.  I do not know nor can I begin to know the inner thoughts that lie behind such decisions, but this is reality.  All I know is that even with their many medical problems, they need love. Love is patient, Love is kind, Love never fails. It is easy to choke our emotions and walk away. ‘Thank you’ for your actions of love in your faithful giving to the  monthly Feeding Programme. What a large scope love provides for us; so many little flowers in our garden need love and attention especially one in particular, ‘Forget Me Not’.The postman normally places mail in the mailbox outside. However this morning he choose to ring the doorbell. There before me was a shoebox! A belated Christmas gift? As I opened the carefully packaged box, tears streamed down my face. My friends at Casa Grace had sent some tokens of love for my beloved husband knowing his passion for Romanian Honey, together with beautifully crafted cards.  How much does it cost to love?  To my friend Monika and team – thank you for making me feel loved and special.

Casa Grace try to assure all who come that joy can follow pain. My friend Emese went to be with the Lord one year ago; her two little daughters are filled with emotion and longing.  As a special treat the girls were invited to spend the weekend with Monika and her girls where together they cooked some favourite dishes Emese used to make. Smiles soon appeared on two little sad faces as they remembered ‘Mama’s Dishes’. It is difficult for those in need to measure faith not knowing what the next moment may bring. They have been disappointed, their peace disturbed, hope gone. One family I visited on many occasions need our prayers just now.  A sickly mother trying to care for two daughters and who has just received an eviction order. They attend the local Pentecostal Church. They need urgent accommodation.  Let us with one heart and mind pray that out of this crisis extraordinary things will follow to the glory of his name.

Poverty has knocked and continues to knock at the door of this grandmother who is caring for her granddaughter Claudia (12). They live in a garage!  Yes a garage!  The adapted garage belongs to the lady’s sister. There are many issues surrounding this family, causing the young granddaughter to harbour feelings of instability. Together with the benefits of pension and child state allowance they only receive £30 each week for food, heat, clothing.  Tell Romania stand with Casa Grace in supporting this family through the Feeding Programme, praying that the Lord Jesus will be their portion and that through our love they will find His abiding presence. Is a garage so different from a stable?

I admire and appreciate the beauty of nature; yet my eyes can never see as through the eyes of the artist who through his skill can portray perfection.  As I think on these things I wonder are my seeing eyes or giving hands beating with my heart?  Am I seeing, feeling the need? Is there a special place in my heart to display the richness of his love in giving with a whole heart. I take a deep breath as I face the responsibility of the second quarter of 2019 for the Feeding Programme. I confess I am caught up in this emotion but so blessed as I prove month by month ‘there is no lack of grain’. Emanuel Hospice, Casa Grace desperately poor, orphans, disabled and abandoned children, Cighid orphans all benefit from this programme and yet I feel compelled to go further.

I read a new case from Sister Gaby of a young lady aged thirty-two and facing another pregnancy. Rejected by family, abandoned by the father of her baby, now totally alone. The responsibility of two other children from a former failed relationship – her life has no meaning. She is unable to work and is afraid to continue to ‘beg’ on the streets for money to feed her children.  I must be true to my feelings – how can I walk away?  Iochebed Centre offer counselling, explain the love of God and the sanctity of life to those who see no other way out but abortion or placing their children with the state. They struggle to feed and clothe their large families, buy wood for the stove.  Pro Life Mission Project will offer help to these many mothers who feel all is lost, all is hopeless.  ‘THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME LIVE’ will offer practical help.  One package for each new mother and baby containing basic necessities i.e., baby blanket, new born clothes, baby feeding bottle, baby hygiene products, pampers. £300 will enable Iochebed to purchase Dried Milk for one month. Again I refer to my eyes and hands; they must beat with my heart. ‘He that saith that he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked’.  I John 2:6.

Why should I try to achieve great things when day by day I can keep walking humbly before the Lord?

For many, their plans of life are in ashes; the homeless beggar longs for new clothes, a place to lay his head; in hunger they search in rubbish bins for food, as they are starving, looking for even a crumb. Hope has left the sick and dying in despair; the unloved orphan, unwanted child have no loving arms to hold them.  ‘Lord give me an insight into the life of others; help me make a definite act of my own will to care’.  Who will join me?

Shirley.

Whisper Adam's name in prayer

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‘Is there no other way, Lord’:  A question I repeat silently in my heart as I wait for news of ‘My Adam’.  One month is past,  another has begun.  My heart, my thoughts are continually at the bedside of a little lamb who remains critical. I wait anxiously for texts, emails ….. Only let it be trust in God, not in man, not in circumstances, not in any of your own exertions, but real trust in God, and you will be helped in your various necessities… … On the other hand, if our trust in the Lord is real, help will surely come. – George Muller.   A soothing ointment for today.  .Thank you Lord.
ADAM has suffered major, life threatening setbacks and in consultation with Adam’s parents, the doctors recommend slowly removing Adam from the breathing equipment today with surgery planned to proceed tomorrow.  At this stage and distance many things remain unclear.  But one thing is certain, God can guide the surgeons regardless of the condition of his heart at present.
Together let us make prayer the key that will lock us in as ONE unlocking the sunrise of
His greatness.
Shirley, 04 March, 2019

Latest update on 'My Adam'

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I was watching the children play just now, their laughter filled my heart and suddenly lyrics from a childhood hymn filled my heart;  ‘Gentle Jesus, meek and mild. Look upon a little child’.   I knew the Gentle Shepherd was watching over my little one in USA.

TUESDAY,  Adam’s heart was causing concern as his heartbeat could not be controlled.  The prayerful support of the Family of God has been overwhelming and I personally thank you for remembering this little lamb.  News from the Pastor in USA this afternoon is that the surgeons  removed fluid from his lungs but during the procedure his heart started to bleed and they found it difficult to control.  There is no prognosis long term as yet.  At present they are slowly removing Adam from the machines.
‘Loving Jesus, Gentle Lamb
In Thy gracious hands I am.
 This afternoon I leave Adam in the hands of the Gentle Shepherd who will carry him.

Shirley.  February, 22, 2019